The Windows/Microsoft Version of "The Raven"


One stormy night while I did ponder
(now here, now there my thoughts did wander),
A sudden surge of power flew
Into my system with sparks of blue.
The screen went black. The hard drive died
(with all my data locked inside) !
Then I heard banging on my door.
" 'Tis but a branch and nothing more."

Thought I "my system's dead; I've naught to do.
I'll open the door to see what's in view."
I went to the door and opened it wide.
A grim Maven in black stepped quickly inside.
"I come from MS because you've been bad.
You're using Netscape and that's very sad."
"Can you not help me ?" I did implore.
"My screen is black. There's nothing more."

The Maven said "now hear my demands.
I've hexed your Apple. You'll obey my commands.
From now on your browser will be MSIE.
That's not hard to take - remember it's free.
The software you load will only be MS.
All other you'll shun because it'll be used less.
MICROSOFT ONLY ! forevermore.
Only Windows - nothing more."

He also said "If you want your hard drive to spin,
As soon as I get your computer running again,
You'll access your browser immediately.
Then you'll go to MS and download IE.
You have to install it, although it takes hours,
Because if you don't, I'll withhold my powers.
Your browser has to be IE 4.
Only it - and nothing more."

He waved his staff to yield energy effervescent.
My monitor alit with a bright fluorescence.
He chanted "up gates, open gates,
the gates will reign supreme,"
My hard drive fired up; my screen began to gleam.
Lo and Behold ! (This was very strange to view.)
My OS now was Windows
- Windows through and through.
The Web is gates forevermore.
Only gates - and nothing more !

- by Roger H. Morris